The Ten People You Meet in Medical School (Part 1)

1. The Questionable Admission

Eighty-four percent of medical students are not in the medical school honor society known as Alpha Omega Alpha. Most medical students work extremely hard while still recognizing the need to relax, spend time with family, etc. Yet even by average medical student standards some people seem to stand out, and not for a good reason.

They pronounce "cation" as CAY-shun. They include alcoholic pancreatitis in differential diagnoses of children. They put on masks when seeing Alzheimer's patients to "keep from getting it." In the operating room they think that a hemostat is for when you need blood in a hurry.

In general, they make you wonder how they ever were able to demonstrate some basic medical knowledge to an interviewer or pass the MCAT--that is until you realize that they have the same last name as the auditorium that you are sitting in.

2. The Gunner

The best known medical student type. They knew from the time they were 3 that they wanted to be a dermatologist and had presented before the American Dermatological Association by the age of 10. They are the students that send emails about how unfair it is that the library is closed from 2-6am. Although they know every inch of the hospital by heart, if you need to know where the nearest movie theater is you're on your own.

3. The Health Fanatic

He works at GNC in his spare time just to keep up on all of the latest supplements and vitamins. He somehow finds time to work out 5 times a week before rotations, even if it meant getting up at 3am while on Surgery. He carries around a gallon jug of water and drinks through it twice a day. He is the definition of physical fitness and looks like he might blow a vein in his neck at any minute.

4. The Grandpa
Who knows what motivates a 55 year old with 6 adult children to enter medical school. Maybe he got sick of his job, maybe he wanted a reason to get away from his daily routine. But seriously, did he ever think about how he's going to be most of the way to 70 by the time he finishes residency. Not only that, but he'll end up paying hundreds of thousands of dollars while only having a few years to make it back, and who wants to be working that hard at that age anyways. When I'm 60 I want to be sitting on a warm beach, not spending 80 hours a week disimpacting my peers.

5. The Guy Who is Just Doing This for the Heck of It
Similar in many ways to the grandpa, the Guy Who Just Does This for the Heck of It is generally older. Through some combination of a fulfilling career/rich parents/well-off wife he was able to amass large sums of money (some of which he likely donated to the school) and plenty of free time. He sits in the back of the room and pesters the lecturers on any point he deems controversial. In the end, all they really want is to be able to stick an MD at the end of their name so that they can attract the opposite sex or endlessly pat themselves on the back, or both.