Another blast from the past. Note: I never actually read this book--this was during the whole "people may actually care to know what you are reading phase." I was trying to be clever.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Scene 1 The scene opens with our protagonist (yours truly), calmly paddling in his kayak across a serene, sunlit lake. (foreboding music) When all of the sudden the protagonist thinks to himself (zoom in on face) "This kayak seems pretty stable, but you know what they say about kayaks..." (Flashback to mother's warning) "If you were to tip over in the middle of the lake, that would be a nightmare. Nightmare...nightmare...nightmare (fade out and snap back to reality...uhh-ope there goes gravity [bunny trail]) Zoom in on protagonist face again. "I wonder how much it would take to tip this over...I'm sure it would take an awful lot..." Scene 2 Scene opens with our protagonist gently rocking the kayak back and forth. "See it is hard to tip over!" When all of the sudden a trickle of water drips over the side. Quickly the drip of water becomes a stream. And then a torent, engulfing the right half of the kayak. The once proud Old Town kayak is now listing heavily to the right, but she wasn't about to give up without a fight. Lurching back to the left, the kayak struggles against the rushing water with all her might, but it was too late. With a gasp she rolled over, like Rasheed Wallace in the playoffs. Scene 3 (Quick shots of our protagonist swimming next to his disabled kayak, a look of sheer horror on his face) Alone and adrift in the middle of gi-normous Lamberton Lake our protagonist looks around for any sign of help coming. Nothing. He realizes that he must either sink or swim...literally. After a few failed attempts at flipping the kayak over in the middle of the lake, our protagonist realizes that he must swim to shore, all the while pulling his kayak behind him! (fade out with protagonist swimming toward shore) Scene 4 The Earth Shattering Conclusion After laboring for hours, trying to get back to shore, our protagonist finally crawls onto shore. Exhausted and relieved, he kisses the ground, before beginning his long walk back to the docks. Just when it seems he is out of danger, he slips, severly lacerating his right foot, blood jetting upwards. But he's already been through so much that day that he continues on, his resolve only further hardened. When at long last he arrives at home, to a grateful country... (roll credits) The Protagonist.........Myself The Kayak...............Old Town Kayak Burt Reynolds...........As himself a ©stew production |
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